Learning Resources Page
Reach out any time to me by email: firstname.lastname@example.org, or text/phone 415-710-2777.
For more information on me, my approach, interviews, see www.johnkinyon.com
Practicing Between Coaching/Mediation Sessions
I encourage you to practice daily and weekly.
- Practice with yourself
- Practice with people in your life
"DESTINY always has a possessor, as in my destiny or your destiny or her destiny, it gives a sense of something we cannot avoid or something waiting for us, it is a word of storybook or mythic dimension. Destiny is hardly used in everyday conversation; it is a word that invites belief or disbelief: we reject the ordering of events by some fated, unseen force or we agree that there seems to be a greater hand than our own, working at the edges of even the most average life. But speaking of destiny not only grants us an intimation of our flaws, we sense, along with Shakespeare that what is unresolved or unspoken in human character might overwhelm the better parts of ourselves.
When we choose between these two poles, of mythic triumph or fated failure, we may miss the everyday conversational essence of destiny: our future influenced by the very way we hold the conversation of life itself; never mind any actions we might take or neglect to take. Two people, simply by looking at the future in radically different ways have completely different futures awaiting them no matter their immediate course of action. Even the same course of action, coming from a different way of shaping the conversation will result in a different outcome. We are shaped by our shaping of the world and are shaped again in turn. The way we face the world alters the face we see in the world.
Strangely, every person always lives out their destiny no matter what they do, according to the way they shape the conversation, but that destiny may be lived out on the level of consummation or complete frustration, through experiencing a homecoming or a distant sense of exile, or more likely some gradation along the spectrum that lies between. It is still our destiny, our life, but the sense of satisfaction involved and the possibility of fulfilling its promise may depend upon a brave participation, a willingness to hazard ourselves in a difficult world, a certain form of wild generosity with our gifts; a familiarity with our own depth, our own discovered, surprising breadth and always, a long practiced and robust vulnerability equal to what any future may offer."
— David Whyte, from Consolations: The Solace, Nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words
- Choosing Peace, book by Ike Lasater and John Kinyon, [click link to access digital version]
- Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life, book by Marshall Rosenberg, creator of Nonviolent Communication (NVC)
- From Conflict to Connection book, by John Kinyon and Ike Lasater [click link to access digital version]
- Mindfulness in Conversation digital workbook, by John Kinyon [click on link to access digital version]
For more information about the books and ordering physical copies, click HERE.
OFNR & General Handouts [click to open]
- OFNR Communication Components
- Needs and Feelings sheet
- Feelings vs. Faux Feelings sheet
- The Four Communication Choices
- Connection and Solution Requests
- Three Types of Agreements
- Empathic Conversation Structure handout (click HERE for video)
- Practice and Feedback
Feelings and Needs Cards
Foundation Conversation Maps Handouts [click to open]
- Triad Model of Conversation & Consciousness
- Self-Connection Practice
- Intensity Practice
- Intensity Exercise with Practice Partner
- Elements of Empathy
- 6 Minute Exercise with Elements of Empathy
- Need Behind the No Process_dyad practice
Conflict Conversation Maps Handouts [click to open]
I recommend that for at least the course of the training you commit to and begin (or extend what you already do) a daily meditation practice, even if it's only 5 minutes each day!
I highly recommend Sam Harris' Waking Up Course meditation app (mindfulness, nonduality, and neuroscience). It is subscription based, and here's a link to receive a free month: https://share.wakingup.com/d10bdc090360.
Here are some other meditation apps I recommend:
- 10% Happier
- Insight Timer
- Simple Habit
Additional Resources Related to Consciousness
- Diana Winston - mindfulness teacher, UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center, spectrum of awareness practices
- Loch Kelly - mindfulness and nondual awareness teacher
- Henry Shukman - Zen mindfulness, Koan practices
- Kristin Neff - mindful self-compassion
- Sarah Peyton- NVC, interpersonal neurobiology, and trauma work. Book, Your Resonant Self
- Gabor Mate - trauma and addiction, The Wisdom of Trauma docu-film
- David Whyte - poet, author, speaker, the conversational nature of reality, poetry and organizations
- Francis Weller - soul and grief work, community building