Learning to Mediate Your Life means you will have the ability to...

  • Recover more quickly in the moment of a difficult interaction and remain more centered
  • Deepen presence and connection in conversations and relationships
  • Use language more skillfully in your interactions with people
  • Cope better with stress, overwhelm, and inner conflict about the past and future
  • Transform anger and frustration into empathic understanding for self and other
  • Feel more confidence and skill having difficult conversations
  • Bring your listening and empathy skills to a new level
  • Express yourself more authentically and courageously, and with compassion
  • Heal emotional hurt and pain between you and others, and experience reconciliation and forgiveness
  • Develop empathic community of support and learning at this higher level
  • Work together better to discover creative ideas and solutions
New Bioregions Map Image

What are Conflict Maps?

The Mediate Your Life training offers conflict "maps," with the OFNR communication components and skills of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) at the core, for returning to empathic connection, compassion, and new creative possibilities and solutions. The conflict maps help you navigate different regions and territories in the world of human conflict, with others and with ourselves. Learning and practice happen in the context of building empathic community of connection and support with others in the course and in your life. The skills and structures help you return to empathic connection when you’re triggered into the brain’s Fight-Flight-Freeze stress response system. A core aspect of this level of training is a Triad Model of Conversation & Consciousness that integrates and deepens dual and non-dual awareness practice and relationship with the unconscious (e.g. subconscious and superconscious dimensions of mind, inner parts). The conflict maps come out of the Mediate Your Life Training body of work, created and developed by John Kinyon and Ike Lasater. Integrated into this approach is the work of Richard Schwartz's Internal Family Systems (IFS) work.

10 Conflict Maps

Self-Connection and Wellbeing/Self-Connection Practice map, an OFNR mindfulness practice and coping with challenge moments

Empathy in Speaking and Listening/Elements of Empathy map, for speaking and listening in empathic conversation

Compassion for Other/Enemy Image Process map, to prepare yourself to respond with empathy and compassion toward someone when you are feeling anger or frustration and having negative judgments about them.

Resilience with Feedback/Mourn Celebrate Learn map, to recover and strengthen your resilience and debrief with empathy and compassion after you did something you fear will be seen as a "mistake" and you're feeling anxiety, stress, or guilt/shame about negative judgments towards you from others, loss of connection, or other negative consequences.

Self-Compassion for the Past/Chooser-Evaluator process map, for when you feel anger towards yourself and have thoughts of self-blame, -condemnation, -unworthiness, or disruption to your experience of play and joy about a past choice you made consciously or unconsciously.

Conflict Maps

Self-Direction for the Future/Internal Mediation map, for when you are feeling anxiety, stress, stuckness, indecision, depressed mood, or disruption to your experience of discovery and enthusiasm, and thoughts of inner demand -- should, have to, must, and possible negative consequences -- about making a decision or moving in a particular direction or towards a particular goal in the future. 

Peace in Intensity/Intensity Practice map, for practicing to respond with self-connection and compassion in intensity of difficulty and challenge

Freedom with No and Yes/Need Behind the No map, for responding empathically and compassionately when hearing a "no" from someone or when you are wanting to say "no"

Bridging Differences/Difficult Conversations map, for talking to someone when you are feeling trepidation or fear because there is disagreement around beliefs, lack of acceptance, and perhaps reactions of anger.
Includes: Three Types of Agreements — main, supporting, and restoring

Healing Hurt & Divides/Reconciliation & Healing process map, for talking to someone when there are feelings of emotional hurt and pain in you and/or another person, and perhaps judgments of blame and feelings of anger.

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Mediate Your Life App

This mobile app will help you learn to Mediate Your Own Life and learn the Conflict Maps!