- Mediating Your Life -
What are Conflict Maps?
What does it mean to Mediate Your Life?
Being the Mediator of Your Life means you will be able to...
- Recover more quickly from a difficult interaction and remain more centered during.
- Deepen presence and connection in conversations and relationships.
- Use language more skillfully in your interactions.
- Cope better with stress, overwhelm, and inner conflict about the past and future.
- Transform anger and frustration into empathic understanding for self and other.
- Feel more confident and skillful to have difficult conversations.
- Bring your listening and empathy skills to a new level.
- Express yourself more authentically, courageously, and with compassion.
- Heal emotional hurt and pain internally and externally — experiencing reconciliation and forgiveness.
- Develop an empathic community of support and learning at a higher level.
- Work with others to discover creative ideas and solutions.
What are Conflict Maps?
Mediate of Your Life uses Conflict Maps...
Practical step-by-step maps designed to help you access empathic connection, compassion, and new creative possibilities as you experience any type of human conflict.
When you are triggered into the brain’s Fight-Flight-Freeze stress response system, the skills and structure from these maps will bring you back to empathic connection.
A core aspect is a Triad Model of Conversation & Consciousness that integrates and deepens dual and non-dual awareness practice and relationship with the unconscious (e.g. subconscious and superconscious dimensions of mind, inner parts).
The conflict maps come out of the Mediate Your Life Training body of work, created and developed by John Kinyon and Ike Lasater. Integrated into this approach is the work of Richard Schwartz's Internal Family Systems (IFS) work.
Brief Intro of the Maps
- Self-Connection & Wellbeing is a mindfulness practice to support challenging moments.
- Empathy in Speaking and Listening is for speaking and listening using empathic conversation.
- Compassion for Other is for times of anger, frustration, or when experiencing negative judgments about someone.
- Resilience with Feedback is for recovery, strengthening resilience, or debriefing with empathy and compassion after something that you fear was a "mistake" and are now feeling anxiety, stress, guilt, or shame due to judgments from others, loss of connection, or other negative consequences.
- Self-Compassion for the Past is for when feeling anger towards yourself and have thoughts of self-blame, condemnation, unworthiness, or disruption to your experience of play and joy about the past.
6. Self-Direction for the Future is for when you are feeling anxiety, stressed, stuck, indecisive, depressed, or a general disruption to discovery and enthusiasm. For when your thoughts have demands like should, have to, must. And when you fear possible negative consequences about making a decision, moving in a particular direction, or towards a particular goal in the future.
7. Peace in Intensity is for practicing to respond with self-connection and compassion in intensity of difficulty and challenge
8. Freedom with No and Yes is used to respond with empathy and compassion when receiving or saying a no.
9. Bridging Differences is for talking to someone where you feel fear because of a disagreement, lack of acceptance, or potential reactions of anger.
10. Healing Hurt & Divides is used when talking to someone where there are feelings of emotional hurt, pain, judgments of blame, or feelings of anger.a
Introducing the Mediate Your Life App
This mobile app will help you become the Mediator of Your Own Life and learn to use the Conflict Maps in your own life!