Empathy and Mindfulness in Conversation

Empathic Communication Mediation & Training

Resources Page

Contacting John

  • Reach out any time to me by email: john@johnkinyon.com, or text/phone 415-710-2777.
  • For more information on me and my approach see www.johnkinyon.com

Learning Materials

I recommend reading a book I co-wrote, Choosing Peace book (pdf link below), and look over these handouts [which are hyperlinked]. There are more learning materials and resources further below.

Book [click on links to access]

Handouts [click on links to access]

Untitled (300 × 200 px)

"DESTINY always has a possessor, as in my destiny or your destiny or her destiny, it gives a sense of something we cannot avoid or something waiting for us, it is a word of storybook or mythic dimension. Destiny is hardly used in everyday conversation; it is a word that invites belief or disbelief: we reject the ordering of events by some fated, unseen force or we agree that there seems to be a greater hand than our own, working at the edges of even the most average life. But speaking of destiny not only grants us an intimation of our flaws, we sense, along with Shakespeare that what is unresolved or unspoken in human character might overwhelm the better parts of ourselves.

When we choose between these two poles, of mythic triumph or fated failure, we may miss the everyday conversational essence of destiny: our future influenced by the very way we hold the conversation of life itself; never mind any actions we might take or neglect to take. Two people, simply by looking at the future in radically different ways have completely different futures awaiting them no matter their immediate course of action. Even the same course of action, coming from a different way of shaping the conversation will result in a different outcome. We are shaped by our shaping of the world and are shaped again in turn. The way we face the world alters the face we see in the world. 

Strangely, every person always lives out their destiny no matter what they do, according to the way they shape the conversation, but that destiny may be lived out on the level of consummation or complete frustration, through experiencing a homecoming or a distant sense of exile, or more likely some gradation along the spectrum that lies between. It is still our destiny, our life, but the sense of satisfaction involved and the possibility of fulfilling its promise may depend upon a brave participation, a willingness to hazard ourselves in a difficult world, a certain form of wild generosity with our gifts; a familiarity with our own depth, our own discovered, surprising breadth and always, a long practiced and robust vulnerability equal to what any future may offer."

— David Whyte, from Consolations: The Solace, Nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words

Further Learning Resources

More Books [click on links to access]

For more information about the books and ordering physical copies, click HERE.

Meditation and Trauma Work

Meditation Resources

I recommend that for at least the course of the training you commit to and begin (or extend what you already do) a daily meditation practice, even if it's only 5 minutes each day!

I highly recommend Waking Up Course meditation app [link]. It is subscription based, and you can try it for free for 7 days. If you want to continue and can't afford the subscription you can email Waking Up and they'll give you a year for free, which can be renewed yearly. Also, because I'm a subscriber I can send you a free 30-day trial if you'd like.

Here are some other meditation apps I recommend:

  • Headspace
  • 10% Happier
  • Insight Timer
  • Calm
  • Simple Habit

I also recommend meditation programs on Sounds True [link].

Trauma-Related Resources [links]

  • Sarah Peyton, book, Your Resonant Self. NVC, trauma, and interpersonal neurobiology, neuroscience. See Sarah’s website for guided meditations and to receive other learning resources
  • Stephen Porges - Polyvagal Institute, Polyvagal Theory, trauma
  • Gabor Mate - trauma and addiction, The Wisdom of Trauma docu-film
  • Peter Levine, pioneer in the trauma field. Developed body of work called Somatic Experiencing
  • Kristin Neff, Ph.D., Mindful Self-Compassion program. Book: Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself
  • Richard Schwartz and Internal Family Systems (IFS), book, Greater Than the Sum of Our Parts, and a great audio with this title from Sounds True

Relationship Related Resources [links]